Thread:Lilliana:3/@comment-397235-20140912011340/@comment-25409301-20140917220326

actually i'm goig to bed now but i've read up to part 2 i'll share my thoughts with you so far though.

i've never read the novel or seen the movie though so i don't know what those versions brought to the story. anyway...

in the elivator the conversation with or Holly and kirk gives off a bit to much information. there is to little mystery around Holly. i think she should talk with less full sentences and just less in general giving less information about her and who she lost. like not telling that the person she lost is her best friend or not telling him she goes to the same school as him.

i liked that kirks grandparents were a bit more talkative. you don't really get a good impression of their personallity in anime or manga. like how his grand mother reacts to lilly drinking beer or his grand father trying to refresh his memory from the past 15 years. i don't know in how much detail they were mentioned in the actual novel but i like it this way :)

when lilly (good choice of name btw :D) comes in to the story i think she shouldn't tell kirk that she is his teacher just yet. i think you should keep that a secret until later on in the story like they did in the anime. that had me fooled for quite a while when watching it. it also adds a bit more of a shock factor at the end which i liked.

keep in mind by te way that you don't make isabelle the only foreign person in the story. i don't know if you thought about that already since i've only read op to chapter 2. maybe you should make all the characters look like they did in the other story's. it's be allot of work to edit all of that though but it's just an idea. in the end that's just a minor detail but people seem to take that very seriously. personally i don't really care...

isabelle seems rather cold at the hospital. i hope that doesn't continue throughout the story. if you're going to combine elements of all interpretations of the story you should make her personality kamidere/tsundere like it is in the anime. serious and maybe a bit cold at times i guess but still with a warm heart.

i like what you did with small details. like the the car brand volkswagen. it really gives off a more western vibe to hear about familiar brands and habits.

p.s. make sure ISABELLE SURVIVES AT THE END !!!! i'll hunt down you if you take her life again :'(